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Our block party night saw all of the neighbors getting hammered as usual. As the wives, one by one dropped off, and went back to their houses for bed, we took the party inside my house as usual. By about 3:00am, me and wife, and 3 guys from the block were sitting around my bar having a few last drinks. Someone brought out the shots, and one led to 4. I came out of the bathroom at one point and noticed my wife passed out cold on the couch next to our bar. We had finally outdrank her. I decided it was best to get her up to her room so we could keep our party going and not worry about her waking up and telling everyone to leave. As I struggled to get her to her feet, I realized I needed some help. So I asked the guys to help me get her up to our room. As we all crashed into our bedroom, carrying her like a sack of potatoes, we tossed her on the middle of the bed. She didn't make a sound or move a muscle. All the lights were on, and as the guys headed out of the room, I yelled for them to. Bugger, they’re early, I didn’t want them to be here until the balloon went up so to speak, they weren’t due until 10.00. First was the ghastly woman, then two blokes who I assumed, correctly, to be bailiffs, and finally a police van. I felt the copper was going a bit over the top, but I reckoned Mrs Nasty was probably responsible for that.What then followed has most of the elements of farce. I was leaning against the back of the seat when they were all standing before me and the bailiff introduced himself as ‘the bailiff’.“I’m the bailiff,” he said, he obviously didn’t have a name and anyway I really didn’t give a shit about his parents’ inattention to the niceties of societal norms.He went on to tell me that he represented the court, acting on behalf of the council, and that his fee for doing so was £100. I told him that he’d better get the council to pay it then, whereupon he insisted that I was going to pay.I stood up pretty quickly.“If you think, for one single solitary fucking.
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